Why Working Hard Is Not Always The Virtue You Think It Is
- GwynethEL
- Jul 9
- 3 min read
A few days ago, a client told me something that stayed with me:
“I don’t have time for the things I want to do - I have to work hard.”
The client said it plainly, as though they had resigned themselves to the fact that that was just the way things were. My client wasn't chasing a particular goal or preparing for a meaningful opportunity. It was just that somewhere along the way, hard work had become the only acceptable state of being.
When we challenged that belief we found its roots in old family mantras. Parents and grandparents had instilled it early on: work hard, earn money, save hard. And that advice had become their operating system, one that they had never questioned, even as it slowly drained every ounce of energy every day.
This belief, that constant effort is the price of safety, is more common than many would like to admit because many people equate hard work with virtue, without pausing to ask what it’s actually for. If you’re pouring your energy into something that inspires you, something specific and purposeful, effort can feel energising. But when effort becomes automatic, simply a reflex or a habit or a defence mechanism, it begins to wear you down.
I often use the analogy of driving a sports car at top speed in first gear. It might look like progress from the outside, but inside the engine the moving parts are burning out. And that’s exactly what happens in the brain when we live in a constant state of high alert. Prolonged exposure to beta brainwave states, those fast, focused, reactive patterns, leaves little room for recovery. The mind becomes efficient, yes, but also rigid, leaving no space for creativity, intuition, or reflection.
This is why you need to slow down to go faster.
Practices such as meditation or brief moments of stillness allow your brain to drop into slower frequencies - alpha, even theta - where insights emerge and healing occurs. Far from being a luxury, these practices form the foundation of clarity, resilience, and sustainable success. Paul McKenna, in his book Power Manifesting, speaks about this in straightforward terms: lasting change doesn’t come from pushing harder, but from shifting the internal signals we send ourselves. Not once, but repeatedly, with intention.
I’m not suggesting for a moment that you abandon ambition or shirk responsibility. Rather this is an invitation to be more discerning with your energy, and to remember that effort without direction becomes depletion, and to recognise that pace without purpose is a fast track to burnout.
If you recognise yourself in any of this, try this (even if it seems too simple to be effective): Set a timer for every 90 minutes. When it goes off, pause whatever you’re doing. Close your eyes. Breathe, slowly and deliberately, for just 90 seconds. Let your mind settle. No planning or problem-solving, just space.
This tiny act interrupts the trance of busy-ness. It reminds your nervous system that it’s safe to pause and over time it can begin to weaken the belief that your worth is tied to how much you produce.
Working with intention is powerful. Working from fear, even if it's happening unconsciously, is not.
Some people spend their entire lives working to meet the expectations of others. Don't be one of them, because change will only begin when you stop living by someone else’s script and start honouring your own, and time spent on what truly matters to you doesn’t deplete you, it energises you.
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